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Ask a Silly Question: Messages from eBay's trickiest customer

Join Fredrick Facedass on a bizarre journey, through this collection of stupidly funny and completely genuine email exchanges with the online sellers of eBay.

Banished to the basement as his marriage dissolves, he’s left with all the time in the world and only a computer for company. Fredrick, however, is far from lonely…

Whether he’s hunting down the perfect conker, demanding his wife sit in vinegar or commissioning witches to cast spells, no one is safe from this loon. Fredrick is a kind and considerate man and he never means to irritate the innocent sellers, but his peculiar and persistent line of questioning often does…


Who is Fredrick Facedass?

Seedless grape enthusiast, world conker champion and eBay's trickiest customer.

Fredrick Facedass is also the pseudonym for Martin Hammond. Martin is a comedy writer and television producer, who has been using Fredrick to make himself (and now you) laugh.


“Ban this man from eBay. A stupidly funny book”

- Alex Zane

"Very, very funny and perversely touching. It's quite hard to read when you're covering your eyes in disbelief. There's a fine line between insanity and comic genius; here the line is drawn in thick felt tip"

- Kevin Day

“In the best tradition of Henry Root - one man's tireless campaign against common sense”

- The Poke

“Comment box botherer and nit picker extraordinaire, Fredrick Facedass stalks eBay, asking the questions that no one else has thought to ask. Because no one else is as mad as he is”

- Charlie Skelton

‘Fredrick Facedass (pictured) is eBay’s trickiest customer. Whether he’s trying to recover his stolen phone, demand his wife sit in vinegar, or haggle over a valuable collector’s item, no one is safe from this loon…’

British Comedy Guide

Fredrick Facedass Buy